Breaking Barriers: Thriving in Business as Women

In this episode, Kate and Sam embark on their podcasting journey, sharing their excitement and the inspiration behind starting this show. Drawing from their extensive experience as coaches, they discuss the profound conversations and "aha" moments that have shaped their understanding of women in business.

Discover the common challenges faced by women in the business world and the critical need for support and community. Delve into the journey of uncovering the true essence of one's purpose and how personal experiences and pain can drive business growth.

Join Kate and Sam as they explore the importance of embracing imperfection and breaking the silence around struggles faced by women in business. Their goal is to share collective wisdom, address taboo topics, and empower women to realize they are not alone in their challenges.

Check Out Episode Highlights:

• How and why business is different for women.
• As a mother of five (Sam) and Kate (two), Kate and Sam share some of their challenges in growing a business and a family at the same time.
• How societal pressures and unconscious bias impact female business owners.
• Why we can and need to embrace imperfection and still be impactful as a woman in business.
• Sam talks about starting out in the Australian Navy and her transition to growing a seven-figure business.
• Sam and Kate share how their desire to smash gender barriers has led them to where they are.
• Kate shares how it’s not just male unconscious bias that holds women back but how women can be their own worst enemies and hold each other back.
• Kate and Sam share their experience of how intuition and alignment are the keys to business success.
• SHARE OUR SPECIALTIES/FOCUS/WHAT WE DO
• The girls get vulnerable and discuss how they found the ‘jewel’ of their calling, and how it now guides their businesses.
• How you can find the jewel of your calling in the wounds of your past and use it to drive your business purpose and impact to create a thriving business you love.

Connect with the Women Doing Business Hosts:

Kate De Jong, PhD | Inspired Business

Website: https://katiedejong.com/

Instagram: katedejong.inspiredbusiness

Email: kate@katedejong.com

Sam Morris | The O8

Website: https://theo8.com/

Instagram: the_o8crew

Email: sam@theo8.com

Connect with Your Hosts:

Kate De Jong, PhD | Inspired Business 🌐 Website: https://katedejong.com/ 📱 Instagram: @katedejong.inspiredbusiness ✉️ Email: kate@katedejong.com

Sam Morris | The O8 🌐 Website: https://www.theo8.com/ 📱 Instagram: @the_o8crew ✉️ Email: sam@theo8.com

Thriving Business Podcast 🌐Website:   https://www.thrivingbusinesspodcast.com/ 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Women Doing Business, the podcast for female service-based business owners who want the easiest path to success, minus the struggle, doing it your way, staying true to yourself. I'm Kate DeJock. And I'm Sam Morris. Let's dive in. Good morning, Sam.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Hello, Kate.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

We are so excited to be here, aren't we?

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Oh, too excited. It's a little bit crazy.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

It's been a long time coming. So I think we first started talking about this idea, maybe at the start of COVID, around 2020.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

We did, yeah. It's literally years in the making.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Yeah. We both knew that we had a message to share, that we were at the time helping so many different women in different businesses. We were, you know, in the middle of COVID, we'd had to take all our in-room workshops and get them online. And we were coaching. Remember those crazy days at FemPy? We were coaching sometimes 20 women a day, back to back. And I think the advantage that's given you and I is the ability to get inside the hearts and minds of women who are doing business. So we intimately understand their struggles. We have the struggles ourselves because we deal with them on a regular basis. And yeah, I think having worked with so many different women, I think you and I both know it's different for women doing business.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

It is absolutely different. I don't know of any men. And look, they're probably out there. Let's not say they're not out there. They would be out there. But they're certainly not dealing with the same challenges as women do when we start businesses. And I think that's because quite often, you know, we're still stuck in this traditional mindset of the man being the breadwinner, or one person in the relationship is the breadwinner. And when that breadwinner is the one that goes and decides they're going to start a business, all the resources are pulled to support that person. Most of the time, and like, you know, it certainly was true for me when I decided I was going to start a business was that okay, but you're not the breadwinner. So you're going to do that. Look, my husband didn't say this out loud. I'm off being breadwinner. So whatever you do, you still have to do all your stuff.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Yeah, you have to take care of the domestic load. And it was exactly the same for me. So yeah, I started my business while we were overseas. My husband was working long days in the shipyard, working on a big project that took up all of his time. And so I did 100% of raising our young toddlers and doing all the things. And then I'd have maybe a few hours during the day to make some progress. And then it's, you know. And so I think for a lot of women, we squeeze our business building into the cracks of motherhood. And Sam, you've got five children. So you know what raising, which I st I think is incredible. And I always say that to you. How you've managed to build and grow six, seven-figure businesses while raising five children is beyond me. You're a power woman.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

A lot of times I felt like that old powerhouse didn't have much fuel to run on.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Absolutely. Especially the last few years in COVID, you guys in Melbourne have really suffered and it's been tough.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Yeah, I think it's incredible too. The conversations I'm having now, you know, and it's 2023. COVID to a certain extent feels like old news because blasted with it all over the news every day, like we were. Conversations I've had with women here in Melbourne, that we are still trying to recover the all the burnout that caused, all the burnout that lockdown had, it impacted as women and as business owners.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Yeah. Extreme fatigue.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Oh, yes. And everyone is struggling, you know, we're still dragging that weight behind us, trying to get rid of it. So there's a lot of fatigue out there after mess.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

And I think that a lot of the fatigue comes from the multitasking and the juggling, all the spinning plates, isn't it? Trying to keep them all in the air. And I know that on the rare occasion that I have a day at home where I can focus on one thing, my productivity just skyrockets. But as soon as the kids are home in the afternoon and I'm trying to work on something, and then you're interrupted, it's just the productivity drops by such a large percent. And I think the thing with COVID, it especially in Melbourne with all those lockdowns, I think you are the most locked down city in the world. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Way to wear a crown.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Yes. But that pressure of the multitasking, because it's like a pressure cooker, isn't it? You're all in the house, you're all got different things you're trying to do, and you're multitasking constantly. Yeah. But so I think the multitasking as a mother growing a business is really, really hard.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

It is because you can't, you know, quite often there's this need to compartmentalize your thinking and your time. But motherhood is an undercurrent that you can't put aside and not think about. So you can't just, you know, like in some of the women that I'm working with, I'm trying to get them to create silos of time for themselves. They can just focus on getting one thing done. But that motherhood stream can't be let go.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Yeah, and it's always there and it always has to take priority too. It does. And so one of the things you and I decided, because we procrastinated on the podcast for such a long time, because I think we were trying to find a time or place in life when it would be perfect or possible for us to, I don't know, maybe use a podcast studio or do things like professionally. And shout out to Russell Harrower, if you're watching, thank you for your podcast workshop and training. And he did emphasize, you know, his point that you shouldn't do a podcast from home. But here you and I are, Sam, because I think we got to the point where we realized our lives are so busy that if we strive for perfection, we're never going to get anything done. And it's this whole thing of perfection being the killer of dreams, isn't it? Or the thief of dreams. Is that the expression? And if you keep waiting for the day when it's all just right, then you never get it out there. And you're at home, I'm at home, laughing, telling Sam that I'm actually recording in my closet at the moment because we are renovating our house and we're renting in a tiny place. And this is the most acoustic friendly place in the small house that I have. But I think imperfection is just part of life as a mother doing business or a woman doing business, in you know, because it's not just mothers I know that struggle with this. And so there is the mother angle, but then there are ways in which business is just different for women in general as well. For those of I coach a lot of ladies as well who don't have children but still struggle with a lot of similar pressures.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yeah, absolutely. Because, you know, the elephant in the room is the societal pressures that we have. You know, we were talking before we started today, and I was saying about the pressure on how you present yourself and the fact, you know, again, it's about looking perfect to show up on camera. So there's that pressure of how you look, and you know, are you getting to the gym and why aren't you exercising and being healthy? And it's the myriad of things that society is feeding us and telling us that we need to be really good at. There's too much.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

There's too much. Yeah. And you yourself, Sam, were saying you watch video shorts of guys not dressed up or made up or anything, you know, just talking into the camera, giving their message, and that's fine, socially acceptable. We all think that's normal. But for a woman to get on with no makeup and look a bit, you know, it still feels that's unacceptable in a way. I mean, I've put makeup on this morning because, like you say, there's this unconscious expectation that we need to look good on camera. But actually, why do we? If we've got a message to share, you know, what's it's those societal conditioning things we have, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 7:51

That just it is absolutely. And look, none of us are immune from this because, like, I've put mascara on, I've drawn myself some eyebrows because they're so blonde that they're non-existent looking.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Well, just for those that are watching, listening on audio only, we've decided also to put this in our Facebook group as a visual so that you can see us talking if you're a more visual person, which I know that I am. Yeah. Yeah. But you've drawn on your face, Sam.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

I have drawn on a bit of a face. Yes, I have, Kate. And I have brushed my hair instead of the usual, you know, ponytail. But here's the thing: I get frustrated even with myself in doing that because what does it matter what I look like? You know, I think about this. If I'm going to work with a client, what's more important to them? Is it that they have that coach that looks like a supermodel or is it they've got a coach that knows what she's doing and that they can relate to and then they can connect with and that can get them really good results?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

That's exactly right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

And I think never ever is the answer that they want someone that looks like a supermodel.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

No, that's exactly right. You just yeah, hit the nail on the head. And I know from having worked with you over the years, Sam, that you absolutely know what you're talking about. You're so good at what you do, you're so clear. Yeah, and that's why I was so excited to join Forces with you to do this podcast because I know you have so much wisdom and experience to share. So before we jump into you know, why this podcast and why we are so passionate about helping women grow thriving businesses, maybe you just give a little teeny backstory on where you've come and what's led you here. And I'll do the same just to set the context.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Set the context. The resume, the story of my life. How do I mash that into one quick story? Look, I'm one of five myself, and I have older brothers. So always hanging around with my older brothers, always the girl who was friends with all the boys at school. When I left school, I had a couple of jobs, but then I went on to join the Navy and thrived, you know, all my life, found myself in these male-dominated circles in which I really thrived. And I think because there was that little part of me that was resisting being labeled as a girl or being labeled in any way as not being good enough because I was a female. I wanted to be treated the same, I wanted the same opportunities, and so I, you know, it's great looking back at your life to think I always put myself, you know, laid down on the train tracks and said, No, don't look at me like that. I'm Sam, and these are my capabilities, and that's what I want you to focus on. And then, of course, I had five children, four of them are girls. Raising daughters, it's like, how can I teach them to not give up on who they are because they're a girl, because they're female. And that led to me wanting to do that in a broader context because I keep meeting women who feel like they've been compartmentalized because of their gender.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Yeah. And all you were asking for actually was to be treated with the same credibility and respect, wasn't it? Yeah. And I think your drive to join the Navy, which I think is so cool. And you know, when I've seen photos of you in your Navy outfit, so good. Because yeah, you were so determined to smash those gender barriers and to say, I'm a woman, but I can do everything you can do, and don't treat me any differently.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

That's right. It's probably even bigger than that because it's not just a female condition, it's a human condition. Like we all just want to be treated the same as what you're going to treat the person next to you. That's right. At the end of the day, that's what we all want, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Yeah, we judge so much on first impressions. We're always making judgments in the subconscious, whether aware of it or not. And yeah, and then we treat people differently based on those judgments for sure. The unconscious bias that we're all brought up with. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

And Kate, your story although vastly different from mine, but I feel like there's so many common threads in there. I know you've got your amazing book that shares so much of your life. Absolute inspiration of a book to read. I have to say. But yeah, let's hear it from you in a nutshell. What who's Kate Dion?

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Yeah, gosh, it's such a hard question to answer, isn't it? But like you, I well, my dad was very pro-women being able to do everything in anything. So that was really good because I never questioned my gender or thought of it as being a limiting factor in any way. But I did also really want that credibility and respect. And so that's what influenced my career decision in the end. In my heart, I knew I wanted to do languages and journalism because I loved writing, I loved creativity, I loved languages. And but when it came to choose my career path, it was clear to me from my environment that I would only get the credibility and respect if I chose something like medicine, engineering, science. And so that's what I did. I chose to start out initially in science and then did postgrads and ended up doing engineering and was a consulting engineer for nearly 15 years. And in a man's world.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Man's world, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Yeah. And like you, I felt really proud to be a woman. Often I was the only woman in the boardroom or the only woman in a workshop. And it never bothered me. But uh yeah, there was a secret satisfaction there that, yep, I'm here doing the man thing with the men, and I can do it, and I'm just as good, if not as better than my a lot of, you know, it was it was just that quiet confidence that, yeah, I can do this, we can do this, women can do this. But there were never a lot of other women. I suppose in my field, I was ended up in water and environmental engineering, so there was a higher percentage of women than there were in traditional fields like mechanical, civil, chemical. But the interesting thing, there were more women, they were out to get each other, and women were not supportive of each other. And it really shocked me, surprised me, made me very sad. And I thought when I had girls, other women actively trying to destroy my reputation or pull me down in some way. Where do you think that came from, Kate?

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Do you think that was their personality type and their background, or do you think it was something about the environment in which you're working in or that particular field?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

I think it was because it was so uncommon for women to make it higher up that we felt like we had to climb on top of each other to get there. And once I became got made a shareholder, which is a very like prestigious thing, you know, you're then considered a business builder, you're growing the business, you then you get, you know, equity in the business. That really triggered a lot of women to sort of a lot of them were like, why her and not me? And it was the jealousy, insecurity, and I think because it was a culture of scarcity, like there's not enough for women, or there's not enough place for female leaders or something like that, which created that. Yeah, it wasn't good. And so I've like you, that's also made me more passionate about helping women truly support and empower each other. Because the negative effects of those dynamics are just so far reaching and set us back even more, you know. So when we're our own worst enemies as women, then yeah, we're not advancing anything in any way. No, we're not.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

And if you look at women and the way in which women thrive traditionally, we are such collaborative and communal creatures.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

And so when we go out and we are the lone wolf, it's kind of foreign who you are essentially as a woman, I think.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Absolutely. Yeah, that's been the hardest thing for me growing a business over the years. And so, yeah, just to give our listeners the backstory as well. So, Sam, you then went on after the Navy to help your husband start and grow his own business.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Oh gosh. We both had jobs, and I came home. I the job that I was in was a little bit of a toxic work environment. So got to lunchtime one day, that was it, I was gone. So Dave was quite worried about me and came home to see me during the his lunch break. And I can't remember the exact story that I told him, but whatever it is about what I told him, and sort of standing up for myself and my values and my beliefs and not wanting to be in that environment, he's like, Do you know what? I hate my job too. I could do this, this, and this. So I said, do it quick. But he went back to work, handed in his notice and came home. You know, and there's that elation until you sit there and go, Oh no, neither of us now have jobs.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

And we don't know what we're doing.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Three kids sitting in the next room, we've got no jobs. The thing is that, you know, I suppose this is my first foray into any kind of business coaching because he sat there and he was telling me about his frustrations in that job. And the thing that he kept saying was, I could do this so much better. And so I called him out on it and I said, Do it then. I said, Come on, start your own business and do it yourself. That's how that all started from that conversation. So we did start that business, we still have it today, and that has again in a male-dominated industry.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Yeah, very much so in the automotive industry, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Absolutely, yeah. So uh, and you there's some interesting characters that work in the industry.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

So But you and your hubby have grown that from nothing, from an idea into a seven-figure business over 18 years.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

We actually started out with his parents as well. So there were four of us to start with, but yes, it was working in a home office and gosh Kate, there was no social media or anything like that. There was none of the marketing that we do nowadays. So that started out with sitting on a phone, not a mobile phone, sitting there on a phone, cold calling, spamming people's fax machines. Oh, the business, that's how we started. Wow. And also it was a lot of me feeling like I was alone in that business because I had ideas about how to do things from my own experience and being told but we don't do that in this industry, but we don't do that. And me doing it anyway, and sort of going behind the scenes and implementing things that I was told not to do because it's not an industry standard.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

And then and making those things work.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

And making those things work, yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Good on you. Yeah, so you've pioneered a new path, a different way of doing things.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yeah, because I just didn't want to be told no. I can certainly accept being told no if it is backed up by reasonable reasons why it's not going to work. And also I don't want to be told no, and that's the end of the story. I want you to come to me and say, No, you can't do that, but because these are the reasons.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Oh, here's an alternative.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Give me alternative solutions, don't keep cutting me off. And I experienced so much of that just being cut off and like, no, end of story, that's not happening.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Yeah. Because it's not how they've done things.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

No, because it went against the grain of traditional business.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Yeah. But I love that you went ahead anyway and have made those changes and you've created a different pathway and innovated and got your business where it is. And that's what we have to do as business owners is continuously innovate, create, find a better way, find an optimal path, increase efficiencies, just always look for the better way.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

And look, that you know, there was massive risk that came along with doing that because with anything that you do in business, even tried and tested ways of doing business, there is always the risk that what you do won't work. Whatever you do, you've got to go into it and you've got to back yourself and you've got to sit there and think, I'm gonna give this a crack. Yes. And those people might be right.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

But the opposite of that is they might not be.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Maybe my instincts are right.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Yeah, and you've proven to yourself over and over that they are.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Yeah, not every time, by any measure.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Yeah, but I think your experience has taught you to to trust your intuition, wouldn't you say?

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

And that's the number one tool in business, isn't it? That always is guiding us.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Yeah. And women have intuition in spades. Like we've got to get that tool to the top of the toolbox.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yeah. I know men refer to it as gut instinct. What do you think? Is there a difference between gut instinct and intuition, or is it just that feeling we get when we know something?

SPEAKER_01 20:28

I don't know if there's a difference. To me, it is just about that internal feeling that you get about things, you know. And it's inexplicable. You can't explain why you feel a certain way. But to me, intuition is about all your experience and your memories and your knowledge are causing a physical reaction to something that yeah, you can't necessarily make sense of on the surface.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

No, but that physical reaction either feels good or it feels bad. It does.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

You should listen.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Yes. And the times when we ignore the bad feeling and we go for it anyway, it doesn't end well typically.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

No, because sometimes we're so focused on data and what's on paper, and and that in information is so important in business, but it's got to be tempered with other things as well to make good decision.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Yeah. So I know that the word alignment is coming up a lot these days in business. It's a term that we never would have spoken about probably 10 years ago. But I think now you and I've over our business journeys, you know, and I started my coaching business back in 2014, and I'm on my third iteration now. So I've been through that startup phase three times and through the valley of death, all of that over and over. And it's the intuition that does get you through. And the alignment is where, you know, we've all got our internal values, don't we? That actors are in a compass. And they're different to, I mean, I think why you and I get along so well, Sam, is our internal values are quite similar.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

We value the same things, we see things in a similar way. So therefore, it's an easy working relationship where you feel when you're working with a client or with someone else where there's a misalignment of values, things start to get really challenging. And while you can push through and you can make it happen, like I've been even just very recently in situations where I've taken someone on and it's felt a little bit out of alignment initially, but you know, you think, well, I can help this person. Yep, let's do it. And then the red flags start getting bigger and bigger, and then you realize at one point, actually, there's a very big values misalignment here. And the longer that goes on, the more it drains your energy, the more difficult it gets. And then you end up having to fire the client or at least try and finish the job. I mean, I ended up with a cold sore not so long ago because I just ran myself into the ground trying to complete a job in which I was very much out of alignment. So I think your body's always giving you feedback, isn't it, about whether you're in flow, whether you're aligned. And that's ideally like I think you and I have both experienced, that's where the success and the wealth and the abundance come in, is when you find, you actively seek out that alignment and you keep choosing it. You don't lower your standards. I mean, I was in a fear state when I took on that client because I was thinking about cash flow. And as soon as you do that, it's just it's not good for your business.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

No, Kate. And like you've seen me from the start with coaching as a profession as opposed to you know doing it as a hobby, really.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Informally, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

And the number one lesson I've learned as a coach, because I hear you when you say you get so excited when you talk to people because you know that you can help them. Yes. But just because you can help them doesn't mean you should. And that's what I have to tell myself every time I have a discovery call with someone, I have to think about yes, I can help them, but should we have a working relationship? Is that going to be of benefit to us both? Because although we're here to serve, we can't pull ourselves down to do that in the process because that ultimately, you know, and this is true of motherhood and so many other things. If anything that you do is going to drain you, then it's not good for you.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

That's right. And it's that whole um boundaries, having boundaries, self-worth, valuing yourself enough to be able to say no. And I mean, you and I have both done so much work on ourselves over the years, lots and lots of personal growth. You know, it's not that we're not new to the topic of boundaries and valuing yourself, but it's like it's an un a rewiring of a whole lifetime of conditionings. So it takes time. And you I keep catching myself falling into devaluation or yeah, not you know, standing in my power because it's I've been hardwired. Like you know, you were saying in my book, I talk about my story of being totally disempowered because I didn't feel I could take up space or express a need or have a boundary. Like I was simply there to please everyone else or make everyone else happy, or yeah, it's a lifelong journey, I think, of learning to stand in your power, to value yourself, say no where it's out of alignment. And the more we do that, the more business flows, life flows, and we feel better, health is better. Fascinating, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 25:21

It is very much fascinating. I've been reading, I've almost finished, almost finished reading Viola Davis's book. Oh, because I'm a huge fan of hers. And I bought her book. I had no idea about her story. You know, obviously, I know her as an actress, and I really enjoy her work. And I've seen her appear in my social media every now and then speaking about empowerment of women and coloured women, and I really like the message that she was sharing. So I bought her book. I cried in every single chapter, and I'm not crying. Wow. But it that book is so powerful. But there's a reason I'm talking about this book because there is one particular conversation that she talks about in this book that has really, really impacted me. And that she talks about being on set with Will Smith. And Will Smith asks her the question, so Viola Davis, who are you? And she says that he talks about the fact that, you know, he might be Will Smith, the actor, and and all the rest of it. But inside, he's a teenage boy, and I can't remember exactly now, but he talks about being rejected by a girl or, you know, being bullied or something like that. And whenever anything happens, that's the person that shows up. And when I read that, I sat there and really thought about okay, who am I? Who is the person that shows up every time things are a little bit wobbly or it's a bad day? And I found so much power in figuring out who that person is that shows up when things aren't good because it's taught me how to look after that person, if I'm explaining myself properly. So there's a particular moment, particular situation from my childhood that feeling and that child shows up every time I'm scared about something, or you know.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

So, how did you feel in that moment as a child?

SPEAKER_01 27:12

So the way I felt in that moment was that I was completely vulnerable and completely lost. Powerless and powerless. And everything that I thought around me was mine wasn't. In that moment, it wasn't. And I've recognized now how that little girl shows up.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

How old were you at that time? So every time you're stressed now or get really overwhelmed, the 10-year-old you shows up, the feeling powerless, the feeling totally out of control.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

But understanding that is really helping me to figure out how to now cope in those situations.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

So, how do you do that? When you feel the 10-year-old coming in, what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Well, in recognizing how I felt in that situation, it's also being able to understand what it is that I needed. And that 10-year-old girl, that's kind of, I suppose, what I see in the clients that I'm choosing to work with and what they need because I'm with her and I know what she needs. So I know how to bring that and give that to clients. So they need connection and they need to feel safe and supported. Those things that she needs, that's what I'm giving to other people.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Yeah, that's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

And I feel like that's been a really big shift and a really big learning curve for me in coaching and in how I do business.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Years and years ago, probably 10 years ago, I did a beautiful program with a guy, Jeffrey van Dyck in the US. And actually, sorry, I think I might have got the name wrong. I think it was Mark Silver at Heart of Business, but he talked about finding the duel of your calling, and that's your jewel. So basically, even though it was generated by a wound, so in that moment you felt so lost and powerless, but that is actually the jewel and the gifts that you give to everyone that you come in contact with, that feeling of security, clarity, safety, direction, like I've got you. You know, if you're with me, I've got your back. And that's what you're here to do in your business, which is beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Yeah. It's like, oh, why didn't I know this sooner? You know, yeah. But all of that is part of your learning, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Yeah, when we know better, we do better, as they say, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Yes. Well, I certainly hope so.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Yeah. Well, we strive to anyway.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

I would love to hear about who you are.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Oh, my jewel.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Yeah. Like, do you know now, or is it something that you're gonna have to think about?

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Like, yeah, no, I did a lot of work at that time on what my jewel is. And so what I my wound, the the wounds is probably similar to yours, was that feeling of it's not okay to be me. Oh gosh. And I'm getting teary now, just thinking about it. Oh gosh, wasn't expecting that. But yeah, I didn't feel it was okay to do what I wanted to do to be, who I was, and so the jewel for me is now giving back to others that feeling of it's okay to be you and do what you want to do and do it your way, and you can be yourself and you can make good money doing it, and you can prove just no need to prove anything to anyone, you know. But for a lot of people, I know that's what they're striving for. But I think it's giving them permission to be okay, to be who you are, and we know what we're called to do, right? That's why I think you and I are passionate about small business because we get to do what we're really passionate about and help other people doing it. And so, yeah, I love to help people find what is your calling, what's your purpose, what's this business, what's the impact you want to have, what's your duel? Like, actually, it's all this conversation. It's like, what's the thing that you have experienced or suffered in your lifetime that you really want to give back to other people and serve in that way and make good money doing it? Because we need more heart-centered people in business. We need more people who are purpose-driven, not money-driven. And I think, you know, obviously money is a good thing. We need lots of it because the more we make, the more impacts we can have. So, not saying that you shouldn't be money-driven, but when purpose is at the heart of what you do and it's really in alignment and you're giving that thing because it's so desperately what you needed and wanted, but you're getting the healing through giving that to other people, then that's when I feel the endless inspiration, energy, passion. Like now that I'm living my truth or calling, like I gave myself permission when I stepped away from engineering 11 years ago. I said, that's it. I give up. I drop the mask, I drop the facade. I'm not an engineer, it's not who I am. I mean, on paper, yes, but not in my heart. That's not who I am or what I want to be doing. What I actually want to be doing is helping people this way. Yeah. And even though you and I, Sam, we've been knocked down many times and we've been through the room.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

We've been knocked down more than some pins in a bowling alley.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

We feel like those little things that just keep popping up and get whacked again, you know. But then what keeps getting you up that, you know, that extra time is the drive, the passion, the knowing that this is what I'm meant to be doing. This jewel, this gift is what I'm meant to give in this lifetime. And I know that if I just stay committed to the course, committed to the path, that I will help people and I'm going to thrive and I'm going to be okay. And I think you and I have proven that to ourselves that when we stick to that passion, that calling, the alignment, things are okay. You do make the money, you do succeed. And people love you for it because you're giving something you know that they desperately need.

SPEAKER_01 32:51

Yeah, that's the key to making business easy. Because it's hard work when it's incongruent to who you are as a person. And I love talking about money. I think I was thinking about the saying the purpose is your car, but money is the fuel that has to go in the tank.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

That's exactly right. Love that analogy.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Oh, I haven't thought of that one. That's good. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

It's not mine. I heard it somewhere. I don't ask me where, but I did hear it somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Yeah. Oh, this has been such a beautiful conversation. Thank you. We dived right into that. Even got some tears coming to the surface, which is always a good sign that we've hit the valuable spot. So, yeah, well, this has been a great first episode, and we've got so many good topics lined up, haven't we?

SPEAKER_01 33:40

We do.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

All centered around how to thrive. We just want to share all the knowledge and expertise we've built up, the lessons we've learned, the things that have worked, the things that haven't, and the ongoing journey of that and how to really help women thrive as business owners.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Yeah. And it's never-ending, but not in in an exhausting way. It's just something I think I want people to understand is that this isn't something that once you've got it, you've got it. No. Something that you've just got to weave into your day every day. You've just got to do that little bit of work on it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

Yeah. Consistent, persistent action, inspired action. That's it. Sometimes it doesn't feel so inspired when it's book work and accounts and things. But it's all part of it, isn't it? All part of doing what we do. And yeah, well, we can't wait to share more with you soon. And until then, we say adios. Bye. Bye for now.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

Thank you so much for listening in today. If you'd like to take advantage of some fantastic free resources to grow your business with ease, head over to my website at www.thebusinessimplementor.com or go to Kate's website at www.kateong.com. If you love our podcast, please be sure to subscribe and share with someone else. It would make our day. And if you have any specific topic requests, please let us know. See you next time. Bye for now.